Lazy/Cheap Mom Valentines

I am taking Boddhi to Parent's Day Out on Wednesday (tomorrow) -- which I do not normally do. I asked the director on Monday if he could come an extra day this week, so I could get an article written.

The teacher informed me that they are having a Valentine's Day party in the 2-3 yr old room on Wednesday (can't start them early enough on consumer based holidays can we?), and that I needed to sign up to bring a snack (juice boxes -- done!) and some valentines for the kids.

Yuck! -- more work for me when I am just trying to get him out of my hair for the day. So...this is what I did (all with supplies I had around the house).

What you will need:

scissors
glue
a few pieces of brightly colored construction paper
a few pieces of brightly colored tissue paper
a computer, printer and a few pieces of printer paper

you will also need a willing toddler.

I prepared the materials in advance (during nap time). One thing I have learned from attempting crafts with a toddler, is that it is impossible to try to prepare materials, model use of materials and supervise use of materials at the same time, so I used all the messy stuff before he got up. A small bowl of glue makes a lot less of a mess than a squeeze bottle (trust me!).

I folded the construction paper in half and cut out hearts (about 4-6 inches long).

I made up and typed out a silly poem on the computer and printed out copies (don't laugh -- I am lazy -- and the words are true!):

Valentine hearts,

tissue paper

and glue---

My mommy

helped me make

this card for you.

Happy Valentine’s Day

From Boddhi Dharma Morrow

Austin Avenue Parent’s Day Out

2010

I pasted this poem on one side of each heart. When Boddhi woke up from nap he got to glue tissue paper on the other side. I tore the tissue paper and wadded it up into little bits (pictured below) --then I poured a tiny bit of glue in a small bowl and let Boddhi dip the tissue paper and glue it to the heart. Tons of fun for him because his favorite things are glue and scissors. Here are a few pictures.





It was fun and easy and the whole thing took around 30 minutes total. Boddhi is so excited about taking them to school tomorrow to share with his friends.

Happy valentine making to you :)

--Sadge

Simple Media Giveaways

I love the Simple Media blogs. They offer practical tips on simple living that I can apply to my life immediately.

Today they are having a launch party giveaway on ALL of their sites, so go on over and win something!

Simple Mom

Simple Organic

Simple Bites

Simple Kids

Simple Homeschool

--Sadge

It's Monday

and the house is finally empty.

i am alone.

Boddhi is at school -- Dude is at school -- the girls are at school.

The house is quiet -- except for the classical music playing in the background -- and the city noise from outside (an ambulance in the distance, a train whistle).

I have a long list of things I am "supposed" to do today, but I don't feel like doing any of them. I just want to be alone -- with no homework, no work, no cleaning, nothing to distract me from myself.

I feel distracted though, like I can't complete a thought -- there are things running around in my head, things that need attention, and I can't even remember what they are.

Last Monday I realized, after everyone left, how long it had been since I was completely alone. I remember the feeling; coming home from taking Boddhi to Mother's Day Out, the house was still -- no creaks or stomps, or toys moving, just stillness. I felt lighter, more like me. My breath was deeper, my face relaxed. I felt happy.

I am that kind of person. The kind that needs to be alone often. The happiness I felt was not about being alone though; it was about having the space to see my life, to feel it all...to appreciate it, reflect on it and recognize myself in it.

Without time alone, I tend to get into "get it done" mode where I do all the things I am supposed to do, but I feel empty. Taking time to myself allows me to adjust enough to be present when my family does come home.

I often neglect my needs (for time alone, time to exercise, time to create) until I feel empty or angry. Having a little time each week fills me up again and allows me to gain a more real perspective.

I like my husband more, can tolerate teenagers longer, even feel excited (instead of bored) about playing with Boddhi.

I am recording this so I don't forget, don't give this time away easily. Writing it down -- and having others read it-- makes it important somehow -- no longer deniable.

So I am holding myself accountable for time for me. I have said it to you -- you heard me right?

I am closing the laptop now to listen. I might get a snack, watch the rain or just be with my thoughts for a while.

Enjoy your Monday too.

--Sadge

Three

Boddhi turned 3 on Sunday.

We had dinner -- homemade macaroni and cheese with mix-ins (broccoli, chili, baked beans, hot dogs), pigs in a blanket and deviled eggs,

a small ceremony,

presents (a game -- eboo animal bingo -- thanks for the suggestion Wesley, golf clubs -- thanks grandma and paw paw, and a book - Wag),

and cake (ice cream cone cupcakes).

Boddhi had a cold -- and was not quite himself. The food was not as good as I'd hoped, and I was not as calm as I would have liked. That is normal I guess -- expectations run high here, and I am learning to accept what comes.

We were happy that Grandma and Paw Paw made the trip to celebrate with us (in the middle of tax season when my mom is working 12 hour days -- 6 days a week!).

I can't believe he is three -- he has changed so much in the last weeks -- still growing taller (and out of recently purchased jeans), he can go on the potty without fail (only if he is completely naked -- any clothing on his body prohibits him from recognizing the urge), he is growing more and more curious (if that is possible) always asking "what is that?" "what does that say" "what that means?"

I just have to remember to stop and be a part of it all. With prom and shopping and preparations, he was neglected a tiny bit -- and his behavior has been unattractive (to say the least). Now that school is in full swing, it is harder for me to concentrate and focus on one thing at a time (like boddhi), but I am trying. I miss being in the moment with him. I find myself rushing through books, naptime cuddles and meals because he is getting on my nerves (on purpose it seems at times).

As we begin your third year together Boddhi, I want to be more present with you in each moment.

I love you Boddhi boy -- Happy 3rd.

Michaela took the pictures (below). I have realized that I cannot be the family photographer when it comes to special occasions because i am trying hard to participate, host etc., and I can't take pictures and do everything else, so thanks to Mike for helping out.










Edited to add: OOPS! In my haste to post pictures, I forgot to mention and post pictures of the new train table Dude built for Boddhi. I will find (or take) pictures and post them soon. Sorry Dude.

--Sadge

This Moment

I am lying (with my laptop on my belly)

on a warm king-sized mattress

covered in a blanket and a down comforter.

I hear:

Boddhi 2 feet from me on the same bed, snoring.

his breath -- eeeeeeee, ahhhhhh... eeeeeeee, ahhhhhh... eeeeeeee, ahhhhhh.

the wind rustling the leaves in the backyard, like waves, like breath...there is a rhythm.

It was raining hard all morning, but it stopped.

I see:

his tiny chest rising, the sheet pulled up to his ribs.

A blue binky hangs from his mouth without movement.

Dude just walked in the door, home from Lowes.

I ask what's wrong.

He says he is back to check measurements (he is building a train table top for Boddhi's birthday on Sunday).

I stop writing to discuss fabric, stains and thickness.

He is gone again.

Boddhi turns, and his binky starts to move.

little moans escape as he settles back into sleep.

his breathing softens to a whisper.

I am here

writing, but also thinking about things...

the menu for Bo's birthday...a cupcake recipe I'd like to try, the homework assignments I have not finished, an article I am working on, the yucky weather, the train-track expansion pack I need to pick up.

I feel:

a scratchiness at the back of my throat, the cozy warmth of the heater, quiet, disappointment in myself at all the things I have left undone this week, a little anxiety over all the things I need to remember, more disappointment over the thoughts I have had this week, the ugly tone I have used with those I love, a dull ache in my head (the beginning of a sinus headache), dissappointment about meals that were purchased instead of created, excitement about giving Boddhi his presents, a little dread about him waking up because he has been a terror this week, envying people who get so much more done, enjoyment of a stranger's creativity.

I worry over things, thoughts, feelings. My mind holds worry instead of creativity. I realize I am angry at myself.

a cat crying in the backyard, breaks into my thoughts.

the neighbor's dog begins to bark...again.

The house is dark and empty.

The heater pops.

I hear the neighbor bringing up his trash bins.

--Sadge

A Peek

at Prom

Mike in blue, Lyd in purple

Mike (left), Date, Lyd, Date

It went well, but I am SO glad it is over. We could not have done it without the help of my parents (thanks mom and leo for make-up and dress help, shoes, jewelery, margaritas, pictures and just being there), Audrey (who did both of the girls hair -- Mike's takes about an hour and a half just to curl. She also picked up the house and babysat Boddhi while we went to dinner with my parents!), and Dude (who ran to the store twice within 30 minutes for a purse to carry personal items and then back again to get bobby pins for hair).

I will write more about it later, and I am working on the photos. It was a difficult experience for me (it sounds dramatic, I know -- but it is true), but we survived. It hurt my heart A.LOT. to watch those cars drive away.

--Sadge

Projects

School started yesterday (for me). This is my last semester (I think), which means I need to turn in final portfolio, apply for graduation, manage two classes, meet deadlines for city magazine writing and care for kids full time. I have gotten better (a little) at managing my time, and I hope that I will be even better this semester. I want to eliminate the panic that I sometimes feel when there is a lot going on outside of family life (family causes stress, but for me that is a manageable, and often motivating stress-- different from they way I handle stress that comes from deadlines for magazines, school etc.). The goal is to handle all stress in a healthy way.

So -- on the subject of family and home life -- There are a few home projects I want to start, and if you guys have any suggestions or tips, I would love to hear them [sidenote: I am really excited about an article I just wrote for the WACOAN about home lessons from Little Women; I can't wait to share it with you guys -- it will be in the February issue.]

Project 1 - go green in the kitchen. I bought a ton of mismatched cloth napkins at thrift stores and placed them in a basket on the table. I need to buy more hand towels for spills and hand drying, but after that I think we will stop purchasing paper towels all together. I got a lot of ideas for this from Simple Mom. I also purchased some fabric at thrift stores that I am going to try to turn into cloth baggies for sandwiches to get rid of our dependence on zip-loc baggies. Did I mention that I got a sewing machine for my birthday (thanks to my dad's gift of $$ - Thanks Dad). I am an idiot about sewing, but I am determined to teach myself.

Project 2 - homemade body care products -- we spend a ridiculous amount of money on cleansers, toners and moisturizers -- not to mention body wash and shampoo. We have used Dr. Bronner's since I was pregnant with Boddhi (it is not cheap though), but we have never made the switch from commercial hair and face products. SouleMama recommends this book: Organic Body Care Recipes. I am going to try out some of the recipes and see how it works. There are also some websites that offer recipes; here are a few I am thinking about:

Eco Friendly Daily

No (sham) Poo Diet

Homemade Deodorant

Project 3 -This is more like a philosophy rather than a project, but I am squishing it in here anyway. I want to spend a lot less money at big stores. I want to shop more thrift stores, garage sales and resale shops. We joined a local farm and will purchase our meat, milk and produce from them monthly, so the only things we need to purchase from the big grocery giant are non-perishables.

I would love to hear what you have tried and any tips and tricks I should know about sewing, creating body care products, etc.

--Sadge

Article 2 -- Gifting Books

Delurking day is over with not much delurking (but that is ok). Hi Vanessa, and welcome. I am glad to know you enjoy reading. I will leave you all alone now to read in privacy and peace -- no pressure to comment (I often do not comment on the blogs I read either).

Moving on.

Here is the article I wrote for the December issue of the WACOAN.


Enjoy.

--Sadge

Did You Know

that today is National Delurking Day (ahem...hint hint)?

From the site:
"Delurking Day was formed to make it a day where everyone could leave a comment and be seen on the blog. It was a great way for bloggers to find out who was reading and also a time for those that were shy or not wanting to be seen on the blog to have a chance to say hello as well. If you are a regular reader of a blogs and you never want to leave a comment but enjoy reading and watching the comments as conversations ensue, this is your day. leave a comment and say hello."


So...what do you want to talk about? Politics? Religion? My weight (that seems to be a popular topic lately -- remind me to tell you that story)?

Would you do it for cookies?
they're oatmeal raisin :)

Seriously...I know there are readers out there (according to stats) who don't comment, and that is fine, but I would love it if today --- on National Delurking Day -- you would just say hello; I am here reading.

Thanks.

--Sadge

Article # 1 - A Sustainable life

Here is the article I wrote for the January issue of the Wacoan.

This format is the best I can do to share these for now. Click on the images to enlarge.

--Sadge

Update

Dude started his spring semester today, and the girls are in the middle of some tough finals. I was in bed most of last week -- in severe pain, but, gradually I am feeling like myself again. Here are some quick notes on what is going on with us:

I have to mention that Dude was amazing last week when I was sick. He took over and handled errands, shopping, cooking, cleaning, entertaining Boddhi, rides to and from school, counseling appointments, dentist appointments, nursing me, picking up prescriptions etc. To say I am grateful is an understatement. I can be a tough patient to handle, especially when I am in intense pain, and he handled it all like a pro (all while preparing his syllabus and getting ready for classes).

We started a family book study last Sunday on this book

I was inspired by Simple Mom, and I may participate in her book club as well. Dude has amazed me with his leadership and earnest participation (even leading!) in this study.

I am excited about what it is already doing for our family. Tonight at the dinner table during the prides and regrets, Dude actually mentioned that his regret was the way he spoke to me when I dropped him off at school today. I almost cried I was so touched.

I am feeling good about my progress as well -working on listening deeply, understanding before seeking to be understood. I have good moments anyway.

We are also preparing for Winter Glitter, the winter prom at the girls' school. We have two (possibly three depending on which one Mike chooses) dresses that need to be altered, hair to cut and style, shoes to buy etc. It is a madhouse.

I am working on another article for the city magazine. I had one published in December and another in January. My mom scanned them for me (as PDF), but I cannot figure out how to post them on blogger -- I will keep trying.

My mind is scattered now -- I know there were other things I wanted to share...oh well.

Peace to all.

--Sadge

Happy New Year

So far I have scrubbed the bathtub and the fridge in preparation for a clean start to 2010. Dude and I also organized all of our books (by American, British and World Lit, philosophy, women's studies and history, teaching, textbooks, spirituality, self-help, juvenile lit and picture books --alphabetized within each category).

I am composing reflections (that I may or may not share) in my head -- thoughts about accomplishments and difficulties of 2009, dreams and goals for the new year to come. Dude and I are boiling shrimp, potatoes and corn for our NYE dinner, and we may go to the family game night at church tonight.

I am inspired today by the thought of a new year unfolding -- moments that have never been and will never be again. A whole year of potential laid out ahead. But my wish for myself (and others) is to be better at living the present moment. I have done well this holiday (for the most part) enjoying the now of each moment -- I have very few regrets about our Christmas, but I know I need to continue to work on bringing myself back from the past and future to live in the now. So I will leave you with a few pictures of Boddhi's cookie making (we cleaned out the fridge yesterday and rolled and baked the rest of the Christmas cookies) -- then I am going to try to live fully the last moments of 2009.





May the new year bring peace and recognition of the beauty of each moment.

--Sadge

Christmas Images

A living tree that will be planted in the yard in a few days

teenagers (Aud left, Mike right) and their repertoire of accents - right now they are perfecting the Scottish accent and Dude is ready to kill them. (Mike got her braces off!)

lots of pajama days

baking, baking and more baking

baking cookies and cookie delivery

more cookies (chocolate chip and oatmeal)

traditional Christmas Eve Gumbo (it does not photograph well, but it tastes yummy!)

playing with new toys

a game Boddhi can play (it is a bit exhausting for adults though).

Not pictured:
Beautiful Christmas concert at church. Christmas caroling at nursing homes. Movie marathon with yummy potato soup and hot cocoa. A winter solstice celebration with the woman's group from church. Sitting by the fire pit and roasting marshmallows. Anonymous gifts left on our porch. Snow flurries on Christmas Eve. Serving two meals on Christmas Day at the Salvation Army. A small trip to Austin to drop off one teen, spend the night in a hotel (thanks Dad) and visit IKEA, vintage dress shops (for prom), Urban Outfitters (Mike says --"I have found my store mom.") American Apparel and Mimi's Cafe for breakfast. A visit from Grandma and Paw Paw. More cooking for Mike's birthday (chocolate chip muffins, hash browns, fried chicken, mashed potatoes, broccoli, rolls, homemade cream gravy, a vanilla cake and nachos -- for her friends). A late night movie with the family (Princess and the Frog).

We had a wonderful Christmas.

We have church today and then we drop off the other teens, and come home to just Dude, Boddhi and I.

Enjoy the rest of the season. Peace to all.

--Sadge

Fifteen

15 years ago today

a light came down to earth,

and her name was Michaela.



You can read about our journey here and here.
Read about the birthday ceremony here.

Excerpt from my "Becoming a Mother" post on Mother's Day 2007:

Mike:
You were a surprise. I remember standing in the bathroom at work with the pregnancy test. I watched that second pink line appear. I wanted to throw up right then; I was single, nineteen, in my first year of college and terrified. But there was another feeling underneath the panic: pure joy. I touched my stomach and marveled at the new life growing inside of me. That was the moment that I knew I loved you.

There was advice coming from every direction: get an abortion, give it up for adoption. I knew I could do none of these things; no one could love you as much as I already did. I chose right then. I chose to be a mother, I knew no matter what happened with your dad or with my family, that I would keep you and try to make your life wonderful.

I felt you were a girl. I dreamed about you before you were born. I remember the first time I heard your heart beat; that quick shoo-shoo sound brought tears to my eyes. I would lay in bed at night watching your elbows and feet appear as bumps on my stomach. When they told me I had to have a c-section because your heart rate was a little too high, I prayed. I asked God to keep you alive and to let me stay and be your mom.

As soon as I woke up I asked about you. They wheeled me in front of you and held you up for me to see. You were beautiful, all pink and fat. You slept in my room the next night. I held you all night long. Your dad offered to take you, but I said no, I waited so long to meet you, I couldn't put you down. I studied your face, your tiny fingers and toes, trying to memorize you.

You made me a mother. I was born again with you. My depression melted like fog in the sun. I wanted to be a better person for you. We grew together, figuring it out on the way.

You were the sweetest baby. When you were just six months old, I would take you to Wal-Mart with me. You would sit in the front of the cart, smiling and waving at everyone you saw. Every morning your eyes would pop open, looking around for me; you would see my face and give me this killer smile. My arms ache with the longing to hold that baby one more time and memorize everything about her. I didn't think you would grow up so fast.

You asked me the other day if you ever called me mommy. This question made my heart ache. Visions of you running from the playground at daycare yelling, "mommy, mommy," flashed through my mind. I remember how your chubby little arms felt around my neck when I would lift you from the ground in a hug. I used to be your world; You had a smile that was just for me.

Mike--I made so many mistakes. I was so naive; I thought you would always be my little girl. I look at you now, so tall and beautiful, and I feel that same panic that I felt when I saw the second pink line on the pregnancy test. I worry about you; I want your life to be beautiful. Underneath the fear is that same feeling of pure joy. I adore the big girl you have become, so sweet and giving, never wanting to hurt anyone. You are a special person. Everyone that meets you tells me what a good kid you are, so polite and friendly. I love that you come and kiss me goodnight every night and hug me every morning when I drop you off at school.

Thank you for making me a mommy.

I love you.

You make my life beautiful.

--Sadge

Merry Christmas

If You Take a Toddler to Target

It has been this kind of week...

(told in the style of If You Give a Mouse a Cookie by Laura Numeroff)

If you take a toddler to Target, he is going to want to ride in the back of the basket instead of the front.

Getting in the back of the basket will remind him that he wants to ride in the "bigger" basket, the one with seating for four children. He will point to the super size basket and whine: "not this one mama...that one...that one...nooooooo."

If you don't change baskets, he will scream louder (but you don't because that cart is impossible to push around the aisles).

Because people will start to stare (no Christmas spirit at this store), you will have to distract him somehow, promising to go and look at the toys if he sits down and gets quiet.

On the way to the toy aisle, you will pass the diapers...this will remind you that you need to get pull ups.

When you place the blue box of Cars-character-pull-ups in the cart, the toddler will point to the pink box of princess pull ups and start to whine: "not that one mama....this one...pleeeease."

This will remind you that you are supposed to be a modern parent, gender-blind and supportive. You will feel a little uncomfortable but will search for a pink box in his size anyway (pick your battles). You will find the big pink box in his size and place it in the cart.

This will remind the toddler that he doesn't want this box --- it has a different girl on the front (not the one who looks like Mary at church)-- and he will point to the box of too-small pulls up, whining again..."Not that one mama....this one...this one."

This will remind you that you are ready to go home. You will try to explain sizes, and $$ to the toddler, attempting to get him to understand you are not going to waste money on pull ups that are too small. He will listen and only whine a little: "ohhhkay, mom," so you will make your way to the front of the store.

This will remind the toddler that he is hungry, causing him to whine: "pizza mama...please." You will try to explain that lunch will be served at home, but he will not hear it. He will try to throw himself out of the basket and toward the food.

This will remind you that you have had it. You will pick him up, throw him over your shoulder and walk swiftly to the truck.

When you get home, you will notice that it is cold inside. This will remind you that you need heaters from Target (which is what you went to the store for in the first place).

And of course...the toddler will want to go with you.

--Sadge